overload.

i think i'm heading for information overload. the things i have to know. the things i wish i did not have to know, yet can't help but take in because they're all spelled out for me to know. the words i need to remember and the words i'd rather forget. the answers to questions i know i'd be asked, the answers to questions i didn't know i'd be asked. the anticipations. the surprises. the facts. the details. what i have to deal with. what i wish i didn't have to deal with.

it's only the second day of the week and i sometimes feel i've been served more than i can chew. and while i wish i could mince words, chop thoughts, and grill, baste and saute people, i can't because i've been feeling an inexplicable stillness and silence within. there's no rollercoaster of emotions, no mishmash of nerves and no jumbled entrails and feelings. i guess it only means there's still nothing to worry about. yet.

or it must be the cold. it's been rainy and gloomy and chilly these past days, i must have been numbed. there is nothing else i want than to curl up in bed and snuggle under the thick, warm covers. and overload on sleep and forget about everything else for a while - thoughts, people, events, time, days.

if only i wasn't so overloaded on caffeine.

rock 2009.

i've never been good with new year's resolutions. i'd always put off trying to stop procrastinating. i couldn't stay away from coffee. i'd hold on to things, feelings, memories when i was supposed to move on. i'd pile on old baggage that got heavier to carry. at the end of every year, i'd be miserable because i wasn't close to keeping every resolution.

so i stopped making them because it didn't make any sense to welcome a new year with the same old resolutions. i resolved only to do one thing each year.

live life.

those two words sound better than a litany of worn out resolutions. and they always bring something new and exciting each year - the ups and downs, the setbacks and success, the fun and the flops, the mistakes and the lessons, the wonderful and the worst - making me stronger/wiser/bolder/saner/crazier/nicer/happier/more grateful.

i made this collage in my organizer last year. rock 2008. it reminded me to make 2008 count. i pasted cut-out words and phrases i liked, adding some more as the year went on. i didn't think of them as resolutions, more like different ways for me to rock the next 12 months.

travel.
be more active.
indulge in your inner child.
read.
no time? make some.
stop cramming.
love.
new tunes.
watch gigs.
explore.
pick up a new skill or craft.
eat healthy.
dream.
kick start some change.
happy days.
live life.

i like how they made my 2008 rock, i'm keeping them for my new organizer. and of course, add some more because now, it's time to rock 2009.